Jessica: Playing With the Big Boys

"But Moses said to God, 'Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?'  

And God said, 'I will be with you.'"

Oh hey.  Remember me?  The last time I posted I talked about how I was just a baby learning the ropes around here in the DR.  It's amazing what four short months can teach you, and how much older you can feel after all your experiences.  In some ways, that's great!  We now go to the supermarket with no supervision (and have for some time now!).  I can walk into a hardware store and actually receive what I ask for, even if it takes a couple tries.  We have made friends with people and businesses owners around town who get excited when they see us.  And, more importantly, I have become friends with many of the leaders in the bateyes, and I think they are starting to realize that my family and I are here for the long haul, and that we really are here to help them and to bring us all closer to God.  These are major successes, people!

But these four months have also truly revealed to me just how big a task with which God has entrusted me.  Crazy circumstances have made these the hardest, randomest, and most wonderful four months of my life.  For those of you who don't know, the manager of the Dominican side of The Least of These Ministries resigned after just a month of us being here to pursue other career interests.  The ministry placed me in charge to fill his place.  Me-a small 22-year-old white girl with no experience leading a ministry.  This is a role that I felt I might occupy in the distant future, but definitely not this soon.  I certainly wasn't seeking this position, but I also felt certain that it was the will of God.

Suddenly I wasn't a baby anymore because I couldn't be a baby.  I was in the Big League now, I was playing with the big boys.  And you know what?  This is hard.  I have never had to do anything this hard.  I know it's been hard because since moving here I have developed a recurring stress dream that I am in a school play and have forgotten all my lines (and dance routines) on opening night.  Apparently that is the epitome of stress to me.  I guess I should be grateful my stress didn't take the form of a zombie apocalypse every night.   

Ever since I can remember my favorite person in the Bible has been Moses.  I love his story, maybe because I can relate to him so well.  I could spend my entire life talking about him (and I probably will!).  Up until God empowered Moses to stand up to Pharaoh-and even sometimes after-Moses seemed to struggle with a huge lack of confidence, not only in himself but in God as well.  When God called him to free the Israelites from slavery Moses came up with every single possibility of things that could go wrong.  What if Pharaoh says no?  What if they want to know who sent me?  What if they don't believe me?  But I don't speak well, I never have.  Oh God, please send someone else.

I hope you all have seen the beautiful film adaptation of this story, The Prince of Egypt.  There is a song in the middle of it when Moses first confronts Pharaoh and his magicians to demand that they let his people go.  Whenever I am struggling or have come up against some conflict, this song plays in my head (Is that lame?  Probably.  I don't care though).  Here is a link to watch the scene: Playing With the Big Boys-Prince of Egypt

When I'm having a rough day or when problem after problem come up with less and less solutions, it really does feel like I'm facing giants.  I deal with conflict among the people around me, broken things that need fixing, people who don't seem to share my philosophy of ministry, and so many other things.  I have seen the negative consequences of people's bad decisions, and I have seen what happens when Satan comes with the intent to destroy.  We as a Church have a lot up against us, and on tough days I allow the weight of it all to bring me down.  I have a feeling Moses had days like that too.

I can honestly say, however, that the biggest giant I have faced so far is my own sense of inadequacy.  Even as a child I struggled with self-doubt.  I have never felt good enough, smart enough, courageous enough to complete that tasks that God has given me.  And now that God has brought me to the biggest task of my life to this point, my self-doubt continues to rear it's big ugly head now more than ever.

But you know what I love about God and the story of Moses?  Moses asks, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" (Exodus 3:11).  It sounds to me like Moses wants some validation; he wants God to tell him why he qualifies to do this job.  Does God start listing off all of his good traits to reassure him that he is the man for the job?  I personally would love a pep talk like this.  But no.  The only response God gives is "I will be with you."  

Moses succeeded because God was with him.  Not because he was big, strong, and brave.  Likewise, God didn't call me because of my stunning good looks, my naturally fearless disposition, or my ability to juggle four chainsaws and a bunny all at the same time.  He chose me because I am a broken human being in desperate need of his salvation, and he knew that if I humbled myself and allowed him to take control of my life, people would be able to see his glory shine through my broken exterior.  If I remain in God and stay faithful to his will, I will succeed too.  And that's all the reassurance I need.

Do you want to help me face giants?  The best way to help is to pray!  Prayer is what moves God to work in mighty ways, and believe me, he has already moved in mighty ways.  Here are some things for me and for our ministry that you can pray for:

Sickness: It seems like every couple weeks I come down with some kind of sickness, from simple colds and stomach bugs to bronchitis and chikungunya.  It's hard to give 100% to your ministry when you don't feel 100% physically.  Please pray I will be able to fight off future illnesses so I can give the time and love that the people here deserve.

Unity: I have learned a lot about how Satan works since being here, and I have decided that through the thousands of methods he uses to lead us astray, he ultimately has one goal-to destroy unity.  He doesn't want us to be in unity with God, with others, or even with ourselves.  I see the disunity here between people in the bateyes and even people in the church, and it breaks my heart.  Pray that the body of Christ learns how to stay unified amidst the chaos, so we can effectively serve the Lord in all that we do.

Leadership: Something God placed on my heart long ago was to find the natural leaders in the bateyes, the people who love their community and want to see change happen.  We have already seen a few people, both children and adults, who have the potential to do great things through God.  Please pray for continued discernment as well as our relationships with these people, that they continue to strengthen.

Do you feel like you are playing with the big boys too?  Let my family know so we can face them together!  You are always welcome to send us a Facebook message or email us with prayer requests or anything else.  

Until next time, Team.  :)

Lisa--"It was just an egg"

Once a month we take eggs on the truck to give out with the rice and beans.  Each member of the family gets one egg in addition to their regular scoop of rice and beans.  Now, you wouldn't think that this is a big deal but believe me it is a big event in the bateyes.  When we pull into the batey the people see the eggs on the back of the truck and the cry goes out that this is egg week and everyone comes.  In one particular batey, I was scooping rice when I heard a cry from the other side of the truck.  I turned around and there was an older boy, I would guess 13-14 years old, holding an egg with a much younger girl next to him crying.  He was yelling and saying something to Jess.  My focus was on the girl by him, holding her bowls with her rice and beans, with her eggs for her family on top of the rice.  She was so upset, I just wanted to hug her.  I asked Jess what the problem was and she told me that the boy had stolen one of her eggs from the bowl.  I can understand why that would make her angry but it seemed like it was so much more.  We gave her another egg to replace what was stolen and she turned and walked away.  I then learned that she was upset because she was frightened.  Scared to go home and tell her family that one of the eggs was gone.  You see her fear was justified--she would have been hit by someone in her home, most likely a parent, if she went home and the egg was missing.  My immediate thought was--"It's just an egg, for heavens sake."  I learned later that the cost of the egg was just a few pesos, which also made me angry that she had been so scared to go home and tell her mom what happened.  I know that this scenario is carried out all over the world, including the U.S., so much injustice and fear.  But when it is right there in your face, it seems overwhelming to think of it.  I want to think that all moms love and treat their children like I feel they should.  Then the Lord spoke to my heart and said, " I feel the same when I see my children being mistreated and I wonder why all of you don't treat each other like I feel you should." 

I have heard many times in my life that our God grieves for His people.  That day, while I was filled with much sadness for that little girl, He reminded me that He was also sad for her fear and wanted her to feel special and loved. The same way He wants all of us to feel.  There is not a doubt in my mind that this is the place the Lord has called me to serve at this time in my life.  While there are days when I think about my life prior to this move and even wish for the air conditioning as well as my Sweet Frog frozen yogurt and time with my family and friends, I know this is what I am to do.  I am to serve my God with gladness and joy, grieve with Him over the sadness and injustice in this world, and show His love to those He places in front of me each day.  To speak hope into their hearts and share the wonderful news of Jesus.  That is what He told the disciples to do years ago and that is what He calls us to do today.  We will become paralyzed with our own fear if we look around at the world today and see all of the problems.  We may think, why bother, my effort will make no difference.  I want to tell you today that it will make a difference to that one person God wants you to speak life into.  Look around and see who God wants you to speak with today.  Love the ones that He gives you and we will make a difference one child of God at a time. 

 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”....Revelation 21:3-4