Some of you are probably thinking, "Isn't Jessica supposed to be on a plane right now? How is she writing a blog?" Our flight left at 6 A.M. this morning and my family and I weren't on it. For your entertainment here is the story of our morning:
The day was finally here. The day I had been working toward for so long was just beginning, and I was so ready. The plane to to take me home was so close to me now I could almost see it.
Except I couldn't.
Because we were at the wrong airport.
If you're like me, you're wondering: how did a family of 3 full-grown adults find themselves at the wrong airport at 4 in the morning? I will probably spend the better part of the next couple days pondering that. But back to the story.
Our best bet was to hop in a taxi and book it to the right airport. With 6 suitcases, 3 carry-ons and 3 backpacks we sprinted down the stairs, out the doors, and all the way up to the taxi at the front of the line. We spent the hour ride in silence, all busy with our own prayers that things would work out.
One crazy taxi ride later (a special shout-out to our driver; he gave it everything he had to get us to the airport on time) we pulled up to the curb and jumped out. I threw on my backpack and stole a luggage cart from a child (just kidding, I asked him very nicely for it) so we could carry everything more easily. With the cart in one hand and a suitcase in the other I quickly and awkwardly maneuvered my way to the check-in line. We stood there hopefully as our flight began to board. When we got to the front desk I heard the words I had been dreading: "It's too late for this flight."
I hung my head as my flawless moving day was halted at 5:30 A.M. We spent the next 20 minutes with the nicest airline employee I have ever met, and she hooked us up with a flight that leaves later today. And here we sit! Waiting to see if everything will work out in our Plan B. I have a feeling it will, and if not, we still have Plans C through Z to work with.
I don't know how we missed such a big detail as the airport we were flying out of. I don't know if God didn't want us on that flight or if we are just boneheads. And I really don't know how God continues to work in mighty ways through boneheads like us. Thankfully he does! And I am still so humbled that he chose this bonehead to work with in the DR.
Here's some things I do know:
I know that despite the problems my family and I are supposed to be on this journey, and we will get there eventually.
I know that I will be listening to this song when the plane is landing in Santo Domingo.
I know that I have the greatest friends, both here and in the Dominican, who are working everything out for us and praying with us as we wait.
I know that my breakfast in about 10 minutes will be a burrito bowl from Chipotle. There is no shame.
And I know now more than ever before that God has some monumental plans for this little country. I have a friend who is getting ready to do mission work in South Korea, and when we were talking the other day she mentioned how she felt that God wanted to do something big in Korea very soon. With excitement I told her I felt the same way about the Dominican Republic. I can feel it in my bones, and deep within my heart. The time is now; God is ready to move. I am desperately urging you to join us in prayer as we wait on the Lord. He won't come unless we ask him to, and he is anxiously waiting for our request. Let's see what he can do. Let's put all of our faith and trust in him, because he is worthy of it.
And then let's wait.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Jessica: Let Go of the Couch
One of the things I hope I can do with this blog is share with you some of the things I am learning in my life. I find that I am especially human, and it is my hope that my blunders and weaknesses will prove useful to someone in one way or another. What's the use of screwing up if no one can learn from it? I'm sure when I leave for the DR in 2 weeks (!!!) I will have plenty more ridiculous screw-ups and lessons I can share with you.
Today I will boast gladly about my anxiety. Maybe anxiety is too strong of a word, or maybe it's a perfect description. I am the resident worrier in my family; when there is a problem or issue I fixate on it and can hardly bring myself to think about anything else. As you can probably imagine, preparing to move out of the country brings with it many problems and issues. A couple weeks ago I was so stressed out about everything that I could not sleep at all. For at least 7 days straight I would while away the nighttime hours tossing and turning in between restless dreams, or twisting the knot in my stomach tighter and tighter until it was almost unbearable. Through all of that effort I succeeded in nothing more than making my daytime activities more difficult for myself, and probably for the others around me.
Last week my sister and I went hiking. As I was sitting on a rock overlooking the mountains, pondering life (as I typically do) I found myself picturing God holding up the world with his arms. To see the look on his face it seemed effortless for him, and I'm sure it probably was. And then I got an image in my head of myself trying to help God hold up the world. My puny arms struggled immediately, and I felt like I was crushing myself under the weight of it all. In my mind I thought, "God clearly doesn't need my help with this, and he never asked for my help either. So why do I keep killing myself trying to continue?"
Have you ever been with a group of people that needed to move a piece of heavy furniture? If it's a nice group of people everyone will volunteer to help out. Everyone gathers around whatever needs to be moved, finds a place to put their hands, and lifts it up together. If you are like me, you are struggling a little with the weight, and you use all of your might to keep that couch (or whatever it is) up and moving. At one point you take your hands off of it and realize something-everybody is doing just fine moving this thing without me! All the effort I was putting forth wasn't necessary.
At this point you have two options: you can continue putting your hands on the couch and pretend to be helping (nobody wants to be the only loser not helping), or you can move ahead of the group and start clearing the way for them to put the couch down. You could hold the door open for them or make sure the floor is nice and neat. The point is, even though your efforts weren't needed in one place, you can direct your efforts to something else, something more constructive.
Maybe instead of keeping myself up at night worrying about things I can't control, I can instead direct my efforts to things I can control, things that will give opportunities for God to work in my life.
Please understand. Burdening yourself with the problems and worries of this world is not a form of piety and righteousness; it is a form of arrogance and pride. People who don't release their worries to God do so for two reasons: either they actually think they are capable of changing their circumstances if they just dwell on it long enough, or they are too scared and prideful to admit they can't do something by themselves. I fall under the latter category. I have difficulty trusting God to provide for me and take care of the problems that are too big for me. And that produces anxiety.
So what can we worriers do? Well the first step is to let go of the couch. Let go of the couch and trust that God is more than capable of shouldering the burden himself. And then look for ways to use your skills and strengths to prepare the way for him. He has given you those capabilities to do things that you are capable of; he knows your limits and, in his limitless strength and abundant love, he will take your worries, give you rest, and provide for you greater things than you ever imagined for yourself. If we can succeed in this we will free ourselves of worry.
And we will sleep better too.
Today I will boast gladly about my anxiety. Maybe anxiety is too strong of a word, or maybe it's a perfect description. I am the resident worrier in my family; when there is a problem or issue I fixate on it and can hardly bring myself to think about anything else. As you can probably imagine, preparing to move out of the country brings with it many problems and issues. A couple weeks ago I was so stressed out about everything that I could not sleep at all. For at least 7 days straight I would while away the nighttime hours tossing and turning in between restless dreams, or twisting the knot in my stomach tighter and tighter until it was almost unbearable. Through all of that effort I succeeded in nothing more than making my daytime activities more difficult for myself, and probably for the others around me.
Last week my sister and I went hiking. As I was sitting on a rock overlooking the mountains, pondering life (as I typically do) I found myself picturing God holding up the world with his arms. To see the look on his face it seemed effortless for him, and I'm sure it probably was. And then I got an image in my head of myself trying to help God hold up the world. My puny arms struggled immediately, and I felt like I was crushing myself under the weight of it all. In my mind I thought, "God clearly doesn't need my help with this, and he never asked for my help either. So why do I keep killing myself trying to continue?"
Have you ever been with a group of people that needed to move a piece of heavy furniture? If it's a nice group of people everyone will volunteer to help out. Everyone gathers around whatever needs to be moved, finds a place to put their hands, and lifts it up together. If you are like me, you are struggling a little with the weight, and you use all of your might to keep that couch (or whatever it is) up and moving. At one point you take your hands off of it and realize something-everybody is doing just fine moving this thing without me! All the effort I was putting forth wasn't necessary.
At this point you have two options: you can continue putting your hands on the couch and pretend to be helping (nobody wants to be the only loser not helping), or you can move ahead of the group and start clearing the way for them to put the couch down. You could hold the door open for them or make sure the floor is nice and neat. The point is, even though your efforts weren't needed in one place, you can direct your efforts to something else, something more constructive.
Maybe instead of keeping myself up at night worrying about things I can't control, I can instead direct my efforts to things I can control, things that will give opportunities for God to work in my life.
Please understand. Burdening yourself with the problems and worries of this world is not a form of piety and righteousness; it is a form of arrogance and pride. People who don't release their worries to God do so for two reasons: either they actually think they are capable of changing their circumstances if they just dwell on it long enough, or they are too scared and prideful to admit they can't do something by themselves. I fall under the latter category. I have difficulty trusting God to provide for me and take care of the problems that are too big for me. And that produces anxiety.
So what can we worriers do? Well the first step is to let go of the couch. Let go of the couch and trust that God is more than capable of shouldering the burden himself. And then look for ways to use your skills and strengths to prepare the way for him. He has given you those capabilities to do things that you are capable of; he knows your limits and, in his limitless strength and abundant love, he will take your worries, give you rest, and provide for you greater things than you ever imagined for yourself. If we can succeed in this we will free ourselves of worry.
And we will sleep better too.
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